||A lawyer got married to a woman who had
previously been married 12 times. On their jgs
wedding night, they settled into the bridal
suite at their hotel and the bride said to her
new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am
still a virgin."
This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages,
he thought that at
least one of her husbands would have been able to
perform. He asked
his new bride to explain the phenomenon. She
"My first husband was a Sales Representative who
spent our entire
marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's
gonna be great!'
My second husband was from Software Services; he
was never quite sure
how it was supposed to function, but he said he
would send me
My third husband was from Field Services and
constantly said that
everything was diagnostically OK, but he just
couldn't get the system
My fourth husband was from Educational Services,
and he simply said,
'Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.'
My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing
Department and said that
he had the orders, but he wasn't quite sure when
he was going to be
able to deliver.
My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that
he understood the
basic process but needed three years to research,
design a new state-of-the-art method.
My seventh husband was from Finance and
Administration. His comments
were that he knew how, but he just wasn't sure
whether or not it was
My eighth husband was from Standards and
Regulations and told me that
he was up to the standards but that regulations
said nothing about
how to do it.
My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. He
said, 'I know I have
the product. I'm just not sure how to position
My tenth husband was a psychiatrist, and all he
ever wanted to do was
talk about it.
My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he
ever wanted to do
was look at it.
My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all
he ever wanted to
do was -- God I miss him!
So now I have married a lawyer---- I know I'm
going to get screwed